Signs from the Big Sky and more fun!

Well, it's still the spring (winter if you live in Pocatello) and that means the war clouds will not be lumbering over the horizon until August. This also means we get lots of time to play around with The Sign Generator, one of God's greatest expressions of love since letting Idaho State win the 1981 National Championship (let the flaming BE-GIN)!

Doug Fullerton (I saw the Cobra Commander emblem, and well, I figured turning the Big Sky Commish into the Cobra Commander should be an inside joke of the site)


Northern Arizona


Montana


Montana State


Portland State


Idaho State




Eastern Washington


Northern Colorado


Weber State


Sacramento State


Perhaps I'll do another edition with football coaches and basketball coaches, or better yet, use church signs for the entire blog! Hahaha!

Slow Days Ahead, So News Shall Be the Norm Til' August

With the coming of April, ISU sports is moving towards the dreaded off-season, towards the horrible coming months of baseball and golf, the least chaotic sports of the whole bunch. The Big Sky has also come to a standstill, with little action anywhere as the various animal-inspired universities reload for the wonderful month of August. So, to the readers, expect some really random things. Of course, that's the nature of the blog anyways, so...yeah. It's Spring Break so I can see how creative I can get. If I can last 1 week, the blog should be fine for the summer. Either that or a hiatus is in store. But who wants that? ANYWAAAYSSS...

The Montana Grizzlies held a victory parade through the streets of Missoula today, to commemorate the 14th anniversary of their great 22-20 Championship victory over Marshall. Field Marshall Don Read was present to the celebrations; in fact he is the one giving the speech in this fantastic video captured by KPAX and local affiliates.



Here is the translation of the video, as for some reason the blog obtained the video feed that was to be shipped to Grizzly fans in the Russian Federation:

Don Read:
"It has been 14 years since that glorious win in Huntington, West Virginia, that ensured Montana's rise to permanent dominance in the Big Sky and the nation. Since that fateful day, Montana has dominated the Big Sky Conference like no other entity has seen, covering the Conference in a glorious Maroon blanket. We are one of the nation's elite teams, and nobody will ever take us from that pinnacle that is our birthright! URAH!" *War cries pierce the air*

*The Marching Band plays "Hail to Our Glorious Missoula." After that, the parade grounds fall silent as the Marching Band calls the People's Army of the Grizzly to rapt attention. Don Read orders the officers to march and present arms. Comrade Read finally gives the orders to begin the parade*

Other News...

Meanwhile, in Bozeman, Montana State, not to be outdone *giggle, giggle...right* held their own National Title Celebration at a local bar. There they spent several hours in torment, trying to confirm that they actually won a national title in 1982, if at all. Finally, at 1:08 AM, the bartender told an almost passed-out crowd of Bobcat fans that they had indeed won the national title, however correcting the drunken masses that it was actually in 1984. The crowd cheered, sang their hybrid Texas-Ohio University fight song (slurring the words, of course) and proceeded to pass out screaming F**K MONTANA! The party was broken up the next morning by the police, who gently roused the crowd awake by playing a recording of "Up With Montana, Boys!" The crowd then threw bottles and cans at the laughing police, who got out with astonishing speed. The policemen were confirmed Montana fans.

In other news, Portland State has confirmed that Elvis will be a season-ticket holder for the 2009-2010 PSU Viking season. It has been speculated that Jerry Glanville placed The King there after many months of unsuccessful lobbying with the PSU Athletic Department and appealed to the President of the university. The PSU AD had nothing to say on the matter; probably realizing it was inevitable.

Sacramento State......yeah, let's move on. Nothing to see here. Really.

Weber State has issued a press release confirming the dates of their Spring Games...although they will, in all likelihood, be attended by the team...aaaand that's about it, save for the Purpley die-hards that patrol the Weber State fan forums. And perhaps one of the 126 people that attended Weber State's win over Montana during the regular season.

Idaho State is still dirt poor. Moving along....

Eastern Washington has confirmed with the Big Sky Press Agency that they will, indeed, have a football team next season. Paul Wulff is still an asshole for getting the team into the mess they are in, and the NCAA is still a bunch of guys even older and grayer than the old Soviet elite who insist on punishing the school and not the coach for the sake of looking like they are actually relevant in college athletics. Anyways, kudos to EWU and best of luck to them next season.

Northern Colorado and NAU have nothing particularly interesting to report at this time, except that both are still existing and both are on for the 2009-2010 Athletic Year.

Big Sky Tourney 2009: Vikings obtain Wooden Trophy Glory

The Quest for Wooden Trophy Glory is finally over. Portland State is the champion of the Big Sky Tournament (again), has earned the right to represent the conference (again) and has earned the forgiveness of Big Sky Trophy God (again). They beat Montana State, who, by the grace of Big Sky Trophy God, beat Weber State (yes, you read that right. The 6th seeded Montana State Bobcats, armed with solid, fundamental play and devastating black magic, beat Weber State in Ogden)! Portland State got to the title game by beating Idaho State, taking advantage of a poor first half and a Bengal team that was an incredible 0-13 from 3-point land, and weathering a furious ISU rally that cut the lead to 3 with about 2 minutes left (almost a spooky repeat of the rally on February 12th, when ISU went on a Run of Death and scored 55 2nd half points to send the Vikings packing). PSU held on and won by 4 to play MSU in the Big Sky Title Game, winning handily and once again cutting down the nets. What a difference 1 week can make! Weber State (the regular season champs) were expected to repeat, win the title on their home floor and ride the purple-clad faithful on a magical road to the NCAA Tournament. Instead, the Wizard's magic was countered by the black magic of Montana State and instead of riding a magical road, Weber State will ride the not-so-magical road into the NIT (on a sidenote, the NIT for a mid-major like Weber State is actually a good thing. It ensures the Wildcats get to play for something and that their season goes on, so it's not a lost cause. In fact, mid-majors with great records but no NCAA bid should aim for the NIT, because a post-season of any kind ensures recruiting opportunities, which is the lifeblood of every college team in every sport).


"Portland State has earned my forgiveness! Go now, and ride into the glorious NCAA Tournament! The rest of the Big Sky...YOU ALL WEAR SNUGGIES!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!"

So now the men's basketball season is over. Idaho State, Montana State and Weber State all earn Snuggies and will be forced to wear them for the Big Sky Media Days. And who would have thought it would have ended this way? PSU beating MSU for the title (thus making a nightmare scenario for the Conference big-wigs, who probably would have preferred an ISU-Weber State final, if only because half of Pocatello would have ventured down to a sold-out Dee Center. Pocatello is only an 1 1/2 hour away from Ogden) was something that even the boys at the Journal offices couldn't have predicted last week. Idaho State had title aspirations and came within 4 points of pulling it off. Had ISU capped the rally off with a few 3's, an NCAA bid would have been guaranteed (remember, we've crushed MSU every time this fall. That Vandal Guy once said that beating a good team 3 times in a season is very hard. Well, MSU isn't that good of a team. They hit a great hot streak but overall ISU is by far the superior squad). Instead, the men's team will be consigned to the offseason, that wonderful time of weights, working out and looking back on what could have been and looking ahead of what should be. All while wearing their Snuggies given by the Big Sky Trophy God, of course!


Portland State: Victory! The Viking Gods look onwards to a glorious future!

Congrats to Ken Bone and Portland State, and good luck in the NCAA Tourney. We'll see you next year! Big Sky Trophy God will also take his rest (after the women's tournament, of course. More on that later) and will heap forgiveness and Snuggies to His readers when action is resumed in August. This blog will still be up and running, so no fears to the few people who read this! Of course, the season isn't over yet. Softball and the Women's Big Sky Tournament is going on as I write this. Updates tomorrow or the weekend, or whenever I get to it.

Big Sky Tourney: The Quest for Wooden Trophy Glory

Sorry for any delays for getting a post up. It's midterms, and you all know what that entails. So, I've decided to let the Big Sky Trophy God possess my blog to help me out.


*Flames shoot out of the computer as the monitor glows with an evil aura. Evil, booming laughter fills the air with dread.*

"Thank you, mortal, for allowing me to possess your blog in order to give updates on the tournament which these great gladiators fight in...to please and amuse me, of course!" *Evil laughter* "But enough digression. The Quest for Wooden Trophy Glory continues, and we already have one big surprise. Apparently, Montana State completed enough chants from the sacred Bobcat Saga in the Bozeman Book and beat their rivals...in Missoula! HAHAHAHA! The Grizzly People have indeed incurred my wrath for laying such a hideous, un-sacrifice-able egg. Their punishment shall be what this mortal blog author intoned...that punishment being WEARING SNUGGIES AT THE BIG SKY MEDIA DAYS!!! HAHAHAHA!!!" *A Maroon-colored Snuggie appears in a sort of evil, flaming aura* "This will teach you not to lay any more rotten eggs! If you're going to lose, get slaughtered so that you may be sacrificed as a bull, which is SOO much better than offering me poultry. BE GONE FROM MY SIGHT, O UNWORTHY ONES! Hahaha, that felt good! The Bengalians of Idaho State have advanced after playing a game worthy of the Championship Game. Northern Colorado certainly lived up to this mortal's blog prediction in being a team that gives other teams fits. I enjoyed this game of bloody Tug-o'-War, but the Sacred Laws of the Wooden Trophy are binding. Northern Colorado...YOUR SNUGGIE AWAITS!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!" *Flat dark blue Snuggie appears, also covered in the evil aura* "BE GONE FROM MY SIGHT, O UNWORTHY ONES!!! *sigh* And they were so deserving. Oh well, I wouldn't have gotten along with their Minotaur God anyways. Weber State and Portland State won their first round byes and they will play later. BOOO-RRRRING...Well, this is all I shall allow to be heard of me until after the 2nd round of gladiator battles. I shall depart forthwith, because I am benevolent and this mortal coil bores me. O Blog Author, I grant you the use of your blog once more!!!" *Flames recede, monitor returns to normal and the air becomes breathable again*

Well, that was fun! Don't you worry, The Big Sky Trophy God will be back in flaming glory later. Yes, Montana State, of all teams, beat Montana in Missoula, and the eGrizzers are flaming the team more than Scott Glenn burned houses in Backdraft. I say they have every right to. Montana was more than a match for MSU. They had everything they wanted. A huge crowd, solid players and a home game. Aaaaanndd...they threw it away, not only losing in the first round, but guaranteeing themselves a Snuggie in the process. They earned it, dammit!

ISU played to a crowd of about 3,000 and boy oh boy, was it a crowd. A very raucous, very energetic crowd. They never let down even when Northern Colorado took a halftime lead, and coupled with a 16-18 night from the Charity Stripe, spurred the team on to victory. Matt Stucki had a dunk that even Donnie Carson probably couldn't top. He almost hurdled Devon Beitzel and dunked it home with emphasis (and with a murderous look on his face too) and at that point, even with UNC playing great ball, it was obvious Idaho State wasn't going to lose this one. The game was intense with players banging and bashing each other; a good ol'fashioned physical game. The free throws, once the bane of our existence, made all the difference. 16-18 is a fine stat for the Charity Stripe, and one that wins games and championships. With Northern Colorado wrapped up, ISU now moves to play a familiar foe in Ogden tomorrow: Portland State, led by none other than KEN BONE! OH BOY!!!! Some quick things about Portland State that we probably already know:

They love getting it out to players on the side of the 3. They live and die by the 3 pointer, so it's important that ISU holds them to a cold night because frankly, PSU doesn't have the big men that scare people. PSU is definitely beatable, as evidenced by the 55-point 2nd half torching we handed them last month (and taking Ken Bone with us...here's to hoping he gets Teed up again! No, that's just cruel...hahahaha).

Idaho State needs two more wins to get to the NCAA Tournament. That's all. Two wins and our first conference title since I was born (back in 1987)!

Montana and Northern Colorado: Snuggied

5 teams will be wearing Snuggies at the Big Sky Media Days. Montana and Northern Colorado have their Snuggies all ready. Hopefully, PSU, MSU and Weber State will join them. The Quest for Big Sky Wooden Trophy Glory continues tomorrow night!

The Big Sky Tournament

ALL HAIL THE BIG SKY TROPHY GOD!

The Big Sky Tournament is upon us at last. 6 teams will duke it out in bloody, spectacular fashion in an attempt to win the favor of the Big Sky Trophy God and claim his mercy and the coveted trophy of said God. The winner will advance to do battle with juggernaut teams in what usually ends up as a complete slaughter. Oh well. Appeasing the Big Sky Trophy God should be the 6 teams' only concern this coming weekend and the 10th-12th of next week. And now, let's look at our proud, strong, stoic gladiators!

1. Weber State (15-1, 21-8)
Right now, the fantastic gladiators from Ogdenia are the best team in the conference, hands-down. The only loss was to 7th place Montana State (how the hell did that happen?). The Weberians, who are guided by a mystical Wizard, have been imbued with magical powers to cruise as the perennial favorites to appease Big Sky Trophy God. If the signs hold up (Red Hill going purple for like, 10 seconds, the skies going purple in the nighttime, and most ominous, a Weber State logo appeared in this blog author's toast this morning), then the Wizard along with his merry company of purple clad knights will find themselves, once again, in the NCAA Tournament (and also appeasing the Trophy God...this, above all else, is most important)

2. Idaho State (9-7, 12-18)
The Bengalians, after weathering a brutal non-conference schedule and hitting one helluva hot streak to end the season (including two maimings of NAU and Sac State), are looking to carry this momentum into the tournament and are also looking to impress the Big Sky Trophy God by upsetting every team on the way to Wooden Trophy Glory. All ISU needs to do is play the ball they have been playing the past couple of games and keep it going. When the Bengals are clicking, even the Wizard's powers are no match for the power of Orange and Black.

3. Portland State (11-5, 21-9)
The Vikings were not only favorites to win the conference regular season title, they were expected to host it once again in the Rose Garden. Aaaaannnddd....after a guarantee by Dominic Waters to never lose a game after the Weberians beat them, went on to lose to Idaho State and Montana State and obtain 3 more losses en route to an 11-5 and 2nd place. They finished the season strong and have a shot at knocking off the Weberians if they play as a team and if Mr. Waters can keep his mouth shut.

4. Montana (11-5, 17-11)
The Griz have Anthony Johnson. AJ is a great player, and is only a sophomore. Yes, a sophomore. He can hurt you in ways that even Torquemada couldn't. If the rest of Teh Griz steps up and helps this sophomore sensation, it can mean that the Griz will beat Weber State and assert an excellent claim to gaining the Big Sky Trophy God's favor.

5. Northern Colorado (8-8, 14-17)
Wow, the Greelians are in the Tournament. They've given plenty of teams fits and look to do the same this week. They of course, must get by an Idaho State team that's on fire at this moment, having demolished two teams and beaten 4 out of 5 to get in the Tournament. The Big Sky Trophy God will be watching this game (and team) with interest. Perhaps the Greelians, who are new to the conference, can include Big Sky Trophy God into their pantheon of gods, notably alongside their chief god, The Minotaur.

6. Montana State (6-10, 12-17)
The Bobcats are the surprise team, having established their Tournament bid with their signature win over the Weberians. Montana State is hoping to duplicate that win three times in order to be a 15-17 team in the NCAA Tournament. Of course, to pull this off, the Bobcats must not only play fantastic basketball but also must sing, dance and chant ancient, sacred Bozeman sutras in a seance circle surrounded by Champ heads...and wearing Snuggies.

The Big Sky Trophy God looks forward to watching the carnage and bloodshed with great earnest, as he awaits the team that he shall grant mercy to. The losing teams must all wear Snuggies for the Big Sky Conference Media Days.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!