ISU Football: PUNTNG IS WINNING Edition (or, "Hatin' on the O-Line")

A picture of the offensive line

Quick, a pop quiz: What does this picture of a sieve have to do with ISU's 32-7 soul-numbing loss to Northern Arizona yesterday?

a.) It helped our punter, David Harrington, post 340 punting yards

b.) While you won't find gold with this, you will find 6 sacks

c.) We will never have any offense at all because it can't hold anything, save for minor dirt clods

d.) All of the above

The answer of course, is "d", bonus points if you saw any offense and extra credit if you stayed the entire game (not staying will not count against your total score).

The severity of the leaks on the offensive line yesterday were so bad the little Dutch boy drowned when he tried to go plug it (only to find countless other holes that the Lumberjack Sea was flowing through). ISU had a good sized crowd today, being Homecoming and all, and instead of taking the bull by the horns and riding that sommabitch to the ground, we let it run free only to return and and knock us on our ass in front of the chick we're trying to impress. Anyways, the stats are on the ISU Football website if you really, really want to look (you're not missing anything except two glaring stats: 340 punting yards to 151 total offensive yards and 6 sacks for 38 yards).

Things You Missed Because It Hurts Too Much to Watch (we understand...*big hug*)

Royalty!

That's right, Yours Truly is Homecoming Royalty for 2010 as the Homecoming Duke. It feels good to be nobility!

Some Gems

One thing about the Idaho State Sieve is that while it doesn't produce a lot of gold, it DOES produce gems...in the form of quotes. From the ISU Website:

"I think that there was some hangover from last week, some frustration, and I think that showed today honestly..." (Read: we lost some of our manhood last week...have you seen it around here by chance? No? Okay, keep an eye out for it...)

"It shouldn't matter who's out there, our offense should go. Both of them are phenomenal athletes, both of them are great leaders." (Read: now if only the offensive line would let them...)

"We've got to have one guy step up and get that look in his eyes and take the bull by the horns" (Author's note: this is my favorite. The quarterbacks are trying their damndest. Troy Smith or Roger Staubach couldn't play with this line. Somewhere, Bo Schembechler is rolling in his grave).

The Final Score is Meaningless

32-7 is a misprint because our touchdown came in the final 2:41 of the game. So to this blog, the score is 32-0. And all is righted.

One Final Shot at Redemption

Next week, we travel to Portland State to take on the Vikings, who are strugglin' as well (but only because of playing ASU and Oregon in 3 weeks. The lone win came against UC Davis on the road, 41-33). This is ISU's last chance for a win, because we play at Montana, who is having some issues of their own (they are an unimaginable 2-2 with the losses coming at the hands of Cal Poly and Eastern Washington. Also, one of their wins, over Sac State, had to be won with a 68-yard, 5 minute drive and staving off the Hornets in a near-disastrous quarter filled with mistakes). The Griz will not overlook ISU as they have in years' past that weekend of October 9th. ISU then comes back to host conference rivals Weber State and Montana State, both of whom are doing well, and finishes with the Prostitution Game against Georgia, Sac State, and closes at The Inferno at Eastern Washington (thus enabling me to watch Ohio State-Michigan!).

The Duke of Wellington's Report from Provo, Utah

And now to our correspondent, the Duke of Wellington

Hello and good day to all! I certainly hope we are enjoying this 3-day weekend away from our schooling and other dozens of life's important details to turn our eyes to the battle front in Provo, Utah (a place far worse than St. Helena, where my nemesis Napoleon was sent) where our brave Royal Orange Fusiliers of the Black under Leutnantgeneral Chad Teichert engaged in combat with splendid effort. I shall now break them down posthaste, by game. You may find the devilish details and such at the Idaho State Athletics websites. Merely click on the right side of the page where it says "Volleyball" and find the correct headlines!

Against Cal Poly

First off, our breakdown of Cal Poly merits a rousing victory march, for it was a victory!



Victory!

We won against Cal Poly, 3-1! The sets were as follows: (26-28, 25-23, 25-22, 25-23). We lost the first game in a tight one and then roared back for 3 straight victories, all of them hard-fought!

Notable Players

In a simple breakdown, there were 5 key players in the win: Jennika Wright (12 kills, .429 attack percentage), Jaclyn Hone (12 kills, 13 digs), Sarah Carson (12 kills, .370 hitting percentage, 4 block assists, and an incredible 3 aces!) and Britta Bartschi-Rhodehouse (11 kills from 26 attacks and 3 errors, .308 hitting percentage). Jenna Proost had 16 digs at libero.

Grinding Them Down

Our brave Fusiliers gradually reduced Cal Poly's attack percentages over the match, where the Mustangs were hitting at .306 and ended up at a nadir in a .083 hitting percentage. Great effort to minimize the attack, Fusiliers!

Against the Host, BYU

We dropped a heartbreaker to the Cougars, 15-17 in the final set. We dropped the first 2 sets, battled back with 2 straight, and lost that final one due to two horrendous calls in the end that gave BYU the opportunity to seal the deal. Our stats for that grueling but excellent effort: Hone had 10 kills and 15 digs; Lori Mendenhall posted 22 assists and 11 digs; Haylee Thompson-Brock led our attack with 23 kills; and Bartschi-Rhodehouse and Carson added 10 kills apiece. Karissa LeGeaux contributed with 26 assists and the team recorded 13 blocks at the net, showing a strong defense.

And against #2 Nebraska

Our Fusiliers fell, 3-0 against Nebraska after two great efforts against Cal Poly and BYU. Thompson-Brock led the team with 9 kills (Bartschi-Rhodehouse had 8 and Carson added 5) and sophomore Katie Grajewski led with 7 digs on the defensive side of the ball; LeGeaux, Breanne Van Every and Jaclyn Hone added 5 digs each. ISU still maintains a good record at 4-2.

ISU shall be home tomorrow for a few days rest before they are to be sent out to far away Des Moines, Iowa, to protect royal interests out in that far away land.

As for me, the Duke of Wellington, I am signing off at this tremendously late hour in order to be ready for the work day. I shall report from our next destination! Ta for now, all! And again, my personal congratulations to our Royal Orange Fusiliers of the Black for their wonderful efforts against very good competition!

Rachel Strawn Saves The Day, UB To Return Home in Tears and Pissy Attitudes

Rachel is the one in white, saving the day from the Bronco hordes

(A quick note: yes, the coverage against the University of Boise is biased just a little. Why? Blatant nationalism and hatred for anything having to do with the Broncos except their volleyball and rugby teams)

Rachel Strawn, the 5'2 crazy merlin-bird, killed University of Boise soccer today when she drove home a goal off a pass from Kiley Godfrey. The gamewinner came with 6:08 remaining in the first overtime period, and left Bronco soccer fans (all 14 or 15 of them) wondering how the hell it happened and ISU fans in delirous celebration at the Brandenberger Tor with another victory in our never-ending sacred war against the University of Boise. The win gives ISU a 3-2-1 record as of myaw and it leaves UB with a 2-4-0 record on the season.

The Breakdown, as "Other Stuff You May Have Missed" is Going to be Called Just Because it Sounds All News-Like:

The Trifecta of the Young

There were 2 freshman and 1 sophomore who all hooked up on that gamewinning play that sent the Donkeys home today: 1) Allyson Stainbrook, who crossed the ball to 2) Kiley Godfrey, who set it and made a quick pass to 3) Rachel Strawn, who personally smacked Bronco keeper Liz Ruiz with a gauntlet and challenged her, and won said challenge by directing her shot past Ruiz' left side and into the net! Very exciting, no?

..."and Ad-JUSTING them!"

To quote the ISU website release because there is no better way to put it: "Idaho State's second period and overtime efforts showed a much improved Bengal squad than the first half. Idaho State implemented a 2x4x4 formation that left the Bengals scattered on the field. Boise State outshot ISU 6-3 in the first period, but after a solid halftime talk by Idaho State Head Coach Allison Gibson who helped the team understand where to plug the holes, Idaho State was off and running."

Said the Feldmarschall on the adjusting work: "We obviously switched our whole formation and our training session with it lasted all of about 10 minutes of pregame so we knew it was going to be a little hectic in the first half, we thought if we could get through it without being punished for it and get our feet under us in the first half then we could sort things out (at the half). Fortunately, we were able to come out in the second half and do a better job."

Victory March!



Stats and All That Jazz

ISU, even though we had a poor first period, ended up outshooting UB 13-8 overall. Bailey Williams continued her housekeeping duties with her 7th career shutout, saving 4 times after facing 8 shots. UB led the way in fouling 11-9 (though that's a generous number given how physical the game was) and edged us in the corner kick battle, 5-4.

100th win? Heh heh, Like Hell!

With today's epic win over UB, ISU denied the Broncos their program's 100th win. Yes, it really does sting when you can't get that commemorative beer mug with the 100th victory over your rival on it. Oh well, better luck in 100 years, Boise!

2 Bengals Named to All-Tournament Team

Your Govnah's Cup All-Tournament Team is as follows:

Rachel Strawn - Idaho State
Kelsea Godfrey - Idaho State
Chelsea Smalls - Idaho
Cassanda San - Idaho
Liz Ruiz - Boise State (Rachel Strawn is not impressed and would like the tournament officials to kindly reconsider this in light of recent and totally epic events)
Lauren Hickock - Boise State
Camille Broderick - Utah Valley
Danielle Anderson - Utah Valley

Note that Rachel is a sophomore and Kelsea is a freshman, which bodes well for ISU in the next 2-3 years.

While ISU lost to Idaho (sorry for the lack of coverage there...I'll let Bob Devine and the ISU staff cover the losses because he's better at it than I am...also, I only have so much time with my classes, rugby, and whatnot), I think we redeemed ourselves against a team (and school/fanbase, for that matter) that nobody really likes. While I have no authority or right to say so, I think I'll voice my personal feelings anyway: I think ISU needs to gel a little more and work on chemistry. I think we were too wound up for most of that game and we started to roll when we settled down. There were too many players forcing stuff that shouldn't have been forced. Soccer may be a fluid game but the truly wise will tell you that possessions matter as much in soccer as they do in rugby and football. Even if the sport is really flowing and possessions change every 5 seconds, it is crucial to never throw a ball away or kick it into some random point in midair. There is still plenty of season ahead so there is time for development for everyone.

Your Pre-Governor's Cup Propaganda

It may be an anthem of a defunct Communist regime, but what the hell ever. It's totally epic.

People of our great empire, the sword has been thrust into our hands once more! Jealous enemies beset us on all fronts, hoping to ruin our magnificent Fatherland and partition it between them! From up north, the Vandals are charging into our country, hoping to subjugate us once more, to stave off their inevitable decline! And from the west, Boise State seeks to make a name for themselves as something more than a football team with a school! We cannot allow these nations to carry out their nefarious plans! We must crush them all in our hands and in glorious combat to secure a great future where there is always radiant sun over our Fatherland, and radiant sunshine over generations of Bengals yet to be born! To arms!!!